the pain is just to real[open]

[natasha hayden cooper]

these wounds won't seem to heal,

[/size]
( THE PAIN IS JUST TOO REAL)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[/center]

natasha was glad that her baby was safe and back home with her. of course she was walking around the school, because she didn't like leaving daisy with strangers, but she didn't like leaving her alone either. and she trusted people at this school, or some of them. a lot of the people she counseled were really sweet and she didn't expect them to be harmful. even james who tried not to care, she believed he wouldn't harm a little girl. she knew there were people in the school who would, but daisy usually played with her toys in the staff room or on her mother's laptop and she made sure daisy knew not to go on the chat, or leave without asking her mother. so instead of worrying for her daughter's safety, she decided to get ready for her next student. and well she couldn't help but be glad her daughter made it back from new york without being harmed.

she was always scared something bad would happen to daisy, like it did to her sister. she knew it was just a name, but she was scared to let daisy go off on her own, but she legally had to let her see her dad for two weeks, and she worried about her the whole time. because even while they were together, jordan wasn't the best father. natasha did everything, he neglected the two of them and when daisy came home she was different. each time she seemed less of the happy child natasha remembered, and crueler and well more clingy. daisy seemed to hate it when she couldn't be in the room with natasha, cause she had to talk privatly with someone, and she had slowly begun to even disobey her mother. natasha just wanted school to start already, so then maybe she wouldn't be worrying about daisy all day long and she could get some work done.

she slid off her jacket, because the room was kind of stuffy before sitting down behind her desk. she started flipping through her papers, her first session wasn't for another thirty minutes, so she decided to read up on her students. when the door opened, she looked up expecting daisy to be asking for money or food and smiled when it wasn't. "oh hello there."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
there's just too much that,

[/size]
( TIME CAN NOT ERASE )[/center]

words: three ninety seven
outfit: here
tags: open
notes: join pllllease?
music: my immortal by evanescence
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0 don't steal or she'll hurt you c:

[/font][/left]

[topher]

GIVE ME THERAPY, I'M A WALKING TRAVESTY
b u t i ' m s m i l i n g a t e v e r y t h i n g
THERAPY YOU WERE NEVER A FRIEND TO ME

You know Topher had been to therapy before he went to the Academy. It was basically required after the seven years he went through, his parents would have been morons if they hadn’t sent him any less than the five days a week he had to go when he first came home. When he first came home he didn’t talk, not at all. His therapist would just ask him to color or draw and they things he drew weren’t pretty because they were all related to things he experienced and well none of that was ever pretty. When she asked him to draw his family his father was on a phone and his mother was crying, the two of them were on the edge of the picture then his older brother Lex and younger brother Jude were standing next to him smiling.

After the first year of therapy Topher was actually talking but he was so off. When the head doctor asked him how he was feeling he would say cold or tired, but she would say what he was feeling emotionally Topher wouldn’t understand the question. He had lived for seven years thinking emotions were bad and eventually completely abandoning them. The head doctor told his parents that he had chosen to ignore emotions as a defense mechanism and he was having a hard time adjusting and letting go of that defense mechanism. Topher didn’t understand still. He remembered being back with Vick and Edna and feeling pain… maybe that was right so that’s when he started cutting.

It was because of his cutting that he ended up at the Academy oddly enough. Now he didn’t see the same head doctor now he saw Miss Cooper as he liked to call her. She was a good counselor, but he wished he could be back at home. He wanted to be with his brothers because they were nice and didn’t treat him funny. Jude would play games with him and tell him stories and Lex would explain things and watch out for him. However he had to be here to get better, that’s what he was told so he didn’t argue it because he always did as he was told.

Since he always did what he was told he always went to his therapy sessions. There were some people that didn’t go to therapy and Topher didn’t understand why, all they had to do was answer questions and in therapy when Topher answered questions nobody cried. Really there wasn’t anything wrong with it. However the one part he didn’t like was when he was asked about the things that happened to him he would always get a funny sinking feeling and suddenly feel kind of… heavy? Then his hands would start shaking and he didn’t know why. So he didn’t like it when that was brought up, not at all.

As usual he was right on time for his therapy session with Miss Cooper. Oh hello there. she said and Topher said a blunt Hi. before sitting down. Honestly he had no conversation skills.

WORDS : 514
TAGGED : natasha
WEARING : cliiiiiiick
NOTABLE : topher needs his therapy

[natasha hayden cooper]

these wounds won't seem to heal,

[/size]
( THE PAIN IS JUST TOO REAL)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[/center]

natasha liked genuinely liked topher, because he wanted help and he talked, even if it wasn't about his feelings. at least he talked. some kids could just stare at you and never say a thing. at least with him, she could see if he made any progress on his social skills, or if he still needed help. she was trained to understand the human emotions, but then again she was trained to also ask as many questions to make the person figure out the answer themselves. but she was more helpful, she was fine with helping, it was she became a counselor to begin with. "hello topher. i told you that you could call me natasha," she said smiling at the boy.

he was always on time and she liked that, cause she was an impatient one and it kept her from getting frustrated at him. because she could get frustrated, especially when her kids decided to just not show up. it wasn't like she asked too much of them, just that they showed up and at least tried to get help. she wanted to know everything that happened to the kids since the last appointment and exactly what happened and how the felt. with topher that was more complicated, cause he didn't understand feelings so she tried to ask questions like what was going on in his body during that time. to try and help him place those reactions with feelings. "so what do you want to discuss today?" she leaned back in her chair, pushing all the other files away and picking up topher's, she didn't have to really look at it, but she needed to add to it, just in case she got fired, which she doubted would happen. but she was always careful, always prepared. she could have to bring daisy to an emergancy room and they'd need someone to fill in for her, or she'd end up in the emergency room. either way, she was prepared.

"do you want to talk about what happened to you since the last time? or something else?" she urged the boy to speak, she had tried to get him to talk about the abduction once and saw that he wasn't ready, so she wasn't going to bring it up, but if he did. then she'd happily listen. she didn't want to harm the boy's mental health anymore. she wanted to bring him into an understanding of feelings and teach him the appropriate things to do and what not to do in social settings. cause to further his future, he'd have to learn not to be so blunt. even if natasha secretly liked the fact that he wasn't afraid to say what was on his mind, well she wanted to help him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
there's just too much that,

[/size]
( TIME CAN NOT ERASE )[/center]

words: four hundred and seventy six
outfit: here
tags: biscuit with topher
notes: yay therapy? xD
music: my immortal by evanescence
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0 don't steal or she'll hurt you c:

[/font][/left]

[topher]

GIVE ME THERAPY, I'M A WALKING TRAVESTY
b u t i ' m s m i l i n g a t e v e r y t h i n g
THERAPY YOU WERE NEVER A FRIEND TO ME

Usually Topher did what he was told, but for some reason he had a hard time calling people by their first names, especially adults. Maybe because whenever he called Vick or Edna by their names instead of Sir or Ma’am he got a good beating… yeah that was probably the reason. Calling Miss Cooper Natasha was something that Topher struggled with, he didn’t even call his old therapist by her first name and she had been insisting ever since he started speaking again. When he was back at high school one time he got sent to the Principal’s office for making a girl cry when was assigned as his lab partner and started going on and on about how her life sucks and her boyfriend is going to dump her and how she thought she was fat. Topher just responded with what he was thinking and she ran out of the room crying. The principal knew Topher had issues but he insisted on treating Topher like a normal student so when Topher said Yes. and the principal wanted him to say yes sir Topher froze and his parents had to come to school and pick him up because he just shut down.

Topher never really knew what to do when Miss Cooper asked him what he wanted to discuss that day. So he responded how he did every time she asked that question Whatever I’m supposed to talk about. Therapy to Topher was the therapist asking questions and Topher answering them. He never really understood the reasoning for some questions, some of the questions though were to try to teach him about emotions, but he never really knew how Miss Cooper got there. You would think after two, almost three years of therapy Topher would understand it, but he was still a little confused how the head doctors got to the questions they asked or why the asked them.

Nothing happened… Topher said plainly. There wasn’t much that had happened since he last saw Miss Cooper a coupled days ago. Wait… he did eat lunch with that Cassie girl. I ate lunch with somebody. She didn’t eat and took my food then threw it away Topher told her. Maybe that was what she wanted him to talk about? Sometimes he didn’t really know what Miss Cooper wanted to hear, so he guessed which was actually progress before he wouldn’t even guess he would just stay silent.

Now what do I talk about Miss Cooper? Topher asked as he sat stock still in his chiar, that was another thing about Topher, he didn’t fidget. He sat as still as could be and didn’t really do anything unless he was told to. Sometimes he would sit outside or walk around outside, but that was about it. Otherwise he would sit in his room sometimes he would get on his laptop that his parents gave him before he left to try and talk to his brother’s at home. Really Topher didn’t do much at all so actually eating lunch with somebody was kind of amazing.

WORDS : 512
TAGGED : natasha
WEARING : cliiiiiiick
NOTABLE : topher needs his therapy

[natasha hayden cooper]

these wounds won't seem to heal,

[/size]
( THE PAIN IS JUST TOO REAL)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[/center]

natasha knew he still called her miss cooper no matter what, but each time she tried to urge him to do otherwise. she liked that he was polite and that she enjoyed his company, his bluntness could be quite amusing and at least he didn't sit there and stare at her like she was an incompetent fool or something. but the thing she did wish was that she could pull him out of his shell, get him to tell her things without her asking, but she hadn't made that process and it would be a long time before someone did. he had a lot of work to do to be normal, because well he lost all the things he needed while he was being held against his will. he did what he had to survive, natasha's job was to show him that he survived and help him relearn the things he needed to make a good citizen.

she smiled and nodded when he said not much, she had expected that. he had always seemed to do the same thing each day and each week over and over again, but when he mentioned eating lunch with someone, she sat up and leaned forward slightly. "well that's a good start, meeting a new person," she said in a congratulatory tone, cause he at least hung out with someone, that was a good start for him, sitting with someone. because now that had something to talk about and natasha didn't have to start fishing for answers about things. she crossed her legs, "how about we talk about this girl?"

she smiled softly, trying to show it was okay to talk about it, ]"like her name and why you think she didn't eat.. also what did the two of you discuss?" she knew that it had to be an eating disorder patient, if they didn't eat at lunch time. it was hard to get those girls to eat, or do it without throwing up. but natasha didn't judge them, she understood that was their way of coping, just like topher's way of coping when he was young was to push his feelings back until they didn't exist anymore. "after that we can figure what comes next, okay?" she prompted him, before leaning back, giving him time to answer and her tine to think of a way to have him see what feelings he was having as well as the girl he ate lunch with.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
there's just too much that,

[/size]
( TIME CAN NOT ERASE )[/center]

words: four hundred and twenty
outfit: here
tags: biscuit with topher
notes: join pllllease?
music: my immortal by evanescence
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0 don't steal or she'll hurt you c:

[/font][/left]

[topher]

GIVE ME THERAPY, I'M A WALKING TRAVESTY
b u t i ' m s m i l i n g a t e v e r y t h i n g
THERAPY YOU WERE NEVER A FRIEND TO ME

Topher felt a little… warm? Inside when she told him that it was a good start to meeting a new person. Maybe the air conditioning had a malfunction and the room got a little hotter at that moment, at least that’s how Topher would explain what he felt. He wasn’t sure if Miss Cooper would say it was a good thing that he met someone new, he still wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to do at this school or what people wanted him to do. Honestly it took someone telling him directly to do something for him to realize that maybe it’s a good idea to go ahead and do it.

Talk about the girl? Topher asked. Well that wasn’t how these sessions usually went. Usually they talked about him, but he never had really talked to someone before at this school so Topher assumed that’s why this session wasn’t going exactly how it usually did. However he didn’t know what Miss Cooper wanted him to say. What was he supposed to talk about? Was he just supposed to say what happened? It was like he was programmed wrong, like his time in captivity had made his brain unable to process without being told to for fear that something bad would happen.

Her name is Cassie Topher said but was confused by the next thing she said. Why he thought she didn’t like to eat? Well wasn’t it because she just wasn’t hungry? But it didn’t make any sense that she would take his food and throw it away, that kind of made Topher feel a little off. Wouldn’t she not eat because she wasn’t hungry? Topher asked Miss Cooper, displaying the only emotion he had really figured out, confusion. Out of all the emotions out there it would make sense that Topher had mastered confusion, he felt it just about every time he had a conversation with somebody or watched people from afar.

She asked me a lot of questions and she talked really fast… She likes snow Topher said blankly, almost in a robotic drone. What else had she asked him? She asked me what I did for fun… I told her I didn’t have fun and she got all confused Topher said feeling some kind of swelling feeling when he realized that he could tell that she was confused, that was good right? On the other hand Topher didn’t understand why it was so surprising that he didn’t know how to have fun. Did everybody know how to have fun. How do I have fun Miss Cooper? Topher asked, figuring she could probably answer him. If he was back home he probably would’ve asked his brothers, but when he was at home the thought never really crossed his mind…

WORDS : 464
TAGGED : natasha
WEARING : cliiiiiiick
NOTABLE : topher needs his therapy

[natasha hayden cooper]

these wounds won't seem to heal,

[/size]
( THE PAIN IS JUST TOO REAL)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[/center]

natasha had been almost excited to hear that he met a new person, because now they were making some progress and he could learn more about people. cause not everyone was the same, natasha was different then his parents and this girl he met was probably different then his brothers. so he needed more people to talk to, cause then he could learn more and more. she nodded when he asked about talking about the girl. she didn't know if she knew this cassie, she wasn't one of hers but she had read some of the other files. but at the moment it didn't click with her, so she just watched topher as he talked.

then she shook her head, "not necessarily. some people don't eat because they feel.." she wasn't sure how to put this in a way the young boy would understand. she didn't want to confuse him more but he needed to know more about people. "cause they don't like the way they look. or because they like the pain of being hungry." she knew that very well, many people didn't eat for those reasons, it was a coping skill, like topher losing his emotions. everyone coped differently but when it was over each needed help to be who they once were. or at least as close as they could manage.

natasha just nodded and wrote as he continued to speak. this girl seemed to talk a lot, and well at least she talked to him. but then came the fun question. it wasn't one natasha knew how to answer. you couldn't teach fun, it just exisited. she had a feeling topher had experienced fun before, he just didn't understand what it was. "hm..well like when you play with your brothers. i'm sure you have fun with them." she couldn't figure out how to ask him how he felt when he was with his brothers, because it would only confuse him more. he didn't know how he felt and natasha got that, so she took a few minutes to think of something. "how do you think you feel when you are playing with them? are you..happy? do you like to play with them?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
there's just too much that,

[/size]
( TIME CAN NOT ERASE )[/center]

words: three hundred and eighty two
outfit: here
tags: biscuit with topher
notes: sorry its kind of short :c
music: my immortal by evanescence
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0 don't steal or she'll hurt you c:

[/font][/left]

[topher]

GIVE ME THERAPY, I'M A WALKING TRAVESTY
b u t i ' m s m i l i n g a t e v e r y t h i n g
THERAPY YOU WERE NEVER A FRIEND TO ME

Even though when Topher first got home he didn’t speak a word he did open his mouth for one thing, food. After spending seven years of never having enough to eat or even going a day or two without food, he really didn’t hold back. At the police station when a police officer brought him lunch one day at first her wasn’t sure if he was allowed to eat it, but after a lot of encouragement he basically inhaled it all, which led to the officers having a bit of fun buying things from the vending machine and seeing how fast he ate it. By the time the day was over Topher couldn’t remember the last time he went to bed with a full stomach.

Knowing what it was like to be hungry Topher couldn’t imagine someone going hungry on purpose. Cassie said she wasn’t hungry, besides why would she like the feeling of being hungry and why wouldn’t she like the way she looked? To Topher she looked just fine and for Topher that was saying something. For as long as he could remember, even before the abduction, he never quite found girls to be pretty like his brother would. He always much preferred boys, honestly it still really hasn’t hit Topher that he’s gay. That is stupid Topher said bluntly, expressing exactly what he was thinking.

Really? Topher asked when she said that he had fun with his brothers. Of course she probably didn’t know that Lex didn’t play, he was the intellectual type, never really a fun and games kind of guy. However Jude always wanted to play games or tell stories, she probably meant playing more along the lines of Jude’s standards than Lex’s. I feel warm inside when I play with them Topher said not sure if that made any sense, but whenever he played a game with Jude and he smiled or laughed Topher felt some kind of warm and tingly feeling. When Lex taught Topher something or said he did something right he felt a warm feeling too, but it was different.

What does that mean? He asked. For the longest time he didn’t understand what the warm and tingly feeling meant. He looked repeatedly over the notecards his brothers had made for him but nothing said anything about warm and tingly. Did that mean he was happy? Was he happy when he played with Jude and Lex? On the happy notecard there was a smiley face and Lex had wrote down the definition right from the dictionary, but Jude added “feeling good.”

WORDS : 430
TAGGED : natasha
WEARING : cliiiiiiick
NOTABLE : topher needs his therapy

[natasha hayden cooper]

Aug 25, 2011 10:54:53 GMT -5 natasha hayden cooper said:

these wounds won't seem to heal,

[/size]
( THE PAIN IS JUST TOO REAL)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[/center]

natasha didn't mind letting topher say what he thought or wanted to say. he could think it was stupid and she wasn't going to tell him different. it was just good that he was expressing himself in some form and he wasn't hurting anyone while in her office. it was all kept between them and she wasnt' going to go run and tell the girl that he said her disorder was stupid. that was just ridiculous so she nodded. "why do you think it's stupid topher?" she was trying her hardest to get the boy to think deeper, to understand.

the woman sighed and leaned back in her chair, she was getting somewhere now. "well those feelings are very good and i'm glad you feel them." she crossed and uncrossed her legs, "hmm well the warm feelings are a good thing and well it means you are happy or content. even having fun." she reached over and gave his knee a soft pat, trying to show him he was doing a good job. "so see? you know how to have fun. you don't need me to tell you how."

she rested back in her chair, she felt very good that they were making some progress. it was great that he felt those things and now he'd know what they meant. now she had an idea for topher, and well it seemed like a good time to have him start it. she pulled out a journal from her bag, "topher i want you to take this book. it's gonna be like homework. when you feel something strange or something you feel all the time and never understand. describe those here, then see if you can tell what it means. and if not, the next visit i'll help you figure it out."

she smiled encouragingly at the boy, she honestly cared about topher and wanted to make him better. get him back to his family where he belonged. "is there anything else you wanted to talk about today?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
there's just too much that,

[/size]
( TIME CAN NOT ERASE )[/center]

words: three hundred and forty five
outfit: here
tags: biscuit with topher
notes: aww she cares!
music: my immortal by evanescence
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0 don't steal or she'll hurt you c:

[/font][/left][/quote]