YOU GOTTA SWIM -- ashlin

[caine]

. WHEN YOU'RE NOT SURE YOU'LL SURVIVE .
YOU GOTTA SWIM . AND SWIM WHEN IT HURTS
...THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING .

Caine was ten years old when he learned to swim. He learned when he was in the foster home of that old bat Beth. Unlike the other foster homes she was a rich old lady that thought she could reform the corrupted children of the world. Which even meant giving Caine swimming lessons in either the outdoor pool or the indoor one when it was raining. He was a quick learner; actually it was the first thing he was actually good at besides beating the shit out of people. Whenever he did something wrong at Beth’s house he would go to the pool, which is where he developed the odd habit of just sitting underwater until his lungs were screaming in pain. It was relaxing and calm down there underwater, but the moment he resurfaced he couldn’t help but to feel like he always did.

Even after he got shipped out of Beth’s house Caine always loved the water. He would pool hop in rich neighborhoods or if he got really desperate fill up the bathtub and just sink underwater. It was like being underwater was the only place in the world that Caine didn’t think he needed to prove something or watch his back or be angry or angsty or brooding. Underwater he could just… be.

It seemed only natural after a few days of being at the Academy that Caine would really hate it there. He had to go to see some kind of shrink, which was just fucking ridiculous in Caine’s opinion. He firmly believes that there is absolutely nothing wrong with his head. He had gone his entire life without being psychoanalyzed and he turned out… okay he didn’t turn out exactly superb, but… Okay Caine might just be in denial that there is anything wrong with his way of dealing with his need to prove himself and fear of letting people in or even touching him. Hey he had to survive the foster homes and the streets somehow right?

Not only was he forced to talk to a shrink, but he was had already almost got thrown in isolation after some kid bumped into him in the hallway and Caine started yelling at him to watch where the fuck he was going. Good thing the security goons showed up before Caine started beating the kid up or else he would probably be in isolation instead of making his way down to the pool. Caine felt too on edge being at this new place, kind of like how he felt the first few days at a new foster home. He wasn’t sure how things worked around here yet so he was kind of in survival mode right now and survival mode was exhausting.

At least the place has a pool Caine thought as he pushed open the door to his room and made his way down to the pool just wearing his swim trunks, a tshirt, and a towel around his neck. Once he was down at the pool there were two girls sitting on the edge with their feet dipped in. Ignoring them Caine pulled off his tshirt only to feel eyes on his back. When people stared at him with his shirt off it pissed Caine off. He didn’t like people staring at the long thick scars that ran down his back or the burn mark on his stomach or the other random scars on his body (little did he realize that sometimes girls just liked to stare at his amazing body).

What the fuck are you staring at?! Caine growled menacingly causing the girls to jump, collect their shoes, and walk quickly away from the pool. Finally alone Caine jumped into the pool and sank to the bottom. Most people would probably think he had drowned just sitting there at the bottom of the pool, but really he was just… being.

WORDS 648
TAGGED ashlin
WEARING black swim trunks
NOTABLE oh my god caine without a shirt, oh my god.

[miranda]

he say's i've been watching you,

[/size]
( SHY GIRL SHY SHY SHY GIRL)
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credit to lillianporter of caution2.0[/color]
[/center]

ashlin miranda patterson had learned to swim at the same time as her sister. they were about seven and it was long before she was afraid to go near her father or anything. she had also been better at it then kailen who was weary of stepping foot in the water. ashlin though, ashlin jumped into the water to be caught by her father. it was a good memory, and one of the few that she had that involved her father. most other memories of him produce fear and usually come in a form of a nightmare. which happened that afternoon when she decided to take a nap, but this wasn't about her. now it looked like her but it was kailen cause what should of been miranda's curly hair was kailen's long silky straight locks. and it was her father over her, touching her, letting his hands travel the contours of her body and miranda was stuck watching, not being able to do anything about it. kailen would of fought back that's how come ashlin new it was only a dream, just one of the constant nightmares that affected the redhead's dreams. she had woken up in sweats and had decided to go swimming but she needed a shower and while she took the shower she wondered about her sister and decided to call and chick on her.

so miranda grabbed her phone and dialed her sister's number from memory. but the voice on the other end wasn't her sister's funky twang but her father's thick irish speak. "ashlin. i can't believe you have no respect to call and check in." miranda's eyes widened as she recognized that voice, the same voice that told her if she screamed or made a noise he would make it hurt more. how her father could be so cruel, she didn't know. but how she could let him harm her and get away with it, well she was doing that at this moment. "papa...i'm sorry. i was calling to check on everyone," she replied back in irish, her voice breaking slightly. she was scared, why did he have kailen's phone. did he hurt her to get it back? did he change her kailen and harm her and make her submissive? she couldn't handle those thoughts, and she listened as her father told her kailen was out and she frowned as she watched people run out the pool. "is she..is she okay?" she responded, knowing she was only giving her father what he wanted but she didn't care. she needed to check on her sister. "babybear she's fine,"[/i[ she heard her father say and she cringed at the childhood nickname she hated to hear. cause it was usually whispered into her hair, telling her how good she was or how sorry he was. she closed her eyes as she sat down on the chairs, throwing her bag down. "i'll just call her back," she said quickly pushing the end button and holding it to shut the phone off. as the familiar music played she relaxed.

she need to calm down and the pool seemed like a good way to do it, so she kicked her shoes off her feet and pulled her bright red hair into a ponytail and started to slowly walk down the stairs, before noticing the boy not so far away on the ground. was he dead? no he couldn't of been. how come she always had to run into people who looked dead or in this case was dead. she couldn't handle this, she needed to be relaxed not even more worried. she didn't go near the body on the floor, not wanting to confirm that he was really dead. she sighed before doing a hand stand and coming up after being under there for awhile. she felt relaxed already, though her eyes kept going to the guy on the bottom of the pool. she was so scared right now. she didn't want to see a dead body.

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maybe we all want the same,

[/size]
( SHY GIRL SHY SHY SHY GIRL)[/center]

words: six hundred and ninety two
outfit: here
tags: biscuit with caine
notes: aww! he so smexy
music: shy girl by silent circle
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0 don't steal or she'll hurt you c:

[/font][/left]

[caine]

. WHEN YOU'RE NOT SURE YOU'LL SURVIVE .
YOU GOTTA SWIM . AND SWIM WHEN IT HURTS
...THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING .

Being underwater was calming. For some reason it seemed to be impossible to form some kind of thought when the entire world was drowned out and all that could be seen was the light being filtered from the surface above. It was like even if he wanted to think of something, even if it was a good thought, he couldn’t because the water around him just didn’t allow it. Sometimes when Caine was in his room, alone, he would think that’s probably why fish seem so dumb, because they don’t need to worry or care as long as their underwater and that’s why when they are out of water they flop around because suddenly they have to deal with everything, all the bad thoughts and bottled up feelings, so they flop around uncontrollably dying to get back in the water where life was easy.

Yeah that was the deepest Caine ever really gotten. Besides when he was out of the water he felt like if he didn’t prove himself to be strong or if somebody thought they could mess with him then he would forever be taken advantage of. He wouldn’t let himself be the kid that got beaten by the older foster children or the idiot on the street that didn’t know his place or the stupid little boy that couldn’t do anything right by the old lady Beth. That need to survive was also why he freaked out when touched because if somebody touched him it usually was never for anything good. At least when he was alone underwater he could leave everything behind.

But he wasn’t alone.

He had closed his eyes for a few moments, trying to ignore his screaming lungs. Even though Caine enjoyed the water he didn’t have a death wish, so when he opened his eyes he saw a pair of legs farther down in the pool causing Caine to panic slightly. He didn’t like having people with him when he was at the pool. The pool, no the water, was his place to be alone, his place to calm down, but now there was some ginger chick in the pool with him and the thought of that caused him to burst through the surface and glare at the ginger haired girl whose eyes were on him.

Caine looked over at the girl, his eyes showing nothing but fiery anger yet at the same time having an icy quality about them. It wasn’t hard mastering the look that would make a fully-grown man cower away like a scorned puppy. Caine grew up fighting, knowing that he could only rely on himself, so the look was something he mastered that generally kept normal people away. However there were some sick bastards out there that could match Caine’s glare and those were the people that Caine had to prove himself against, the ones that he had to protect himself from, and the ones that generally got beaten to a pulp in the end so they knew not to mess with him.

Stop fucking staring at me Caine snarled at the ginger girl because in Caine’s experience when people stared they were plotting something, and usually the plot wasn’t in Caine’s benefit. Shouldn’t you run along little girl? Caine practically growled, she was only a few years younger than him, but she could have been a few years older than him and he probably still would’ve called her little girl seeing as he was six feet two inches tall and she was well short and little. Either way even if she was a chick Caine knew that some girls could pull some dirty shit, so it was best to scare them straight before they could mess with him.

WORDS 622
TAGGED ashlin
WEARING black swim trunks
NOTABLE oh my god caine without a shirt, oh my god.

[miranda]

he say's i've been watching you,

[/size]
( SHY GIRL SHY SHY SHY GIRL)
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credit to lillianporter of caution2.0[/color]
[/center]

miranda felt good now that she was in the water. she was relaxed all thoughts of kailen and her father were gone. at least for now. she could be without that horrible fear. but he couldn't get her, not while she was here. he wouldn't take a break from his job just to come and hurt her. to do that thing to her again. she had finally escaped but what did her mother think would happen. she didn't think she could at all find that sexual desire that everyone had. sex for her was something she didn't want. something she laid in bed at night hoping didn't happen. she used to pretend she was asleep even when she couldn't fall asleep without a nightmare. so she laid awake hoping her father would pass her room, hoping he wouldn't look at her door. she counted his steps it took fifty to get to his room, twenty-five to get to hers. almost everytime he only went to twenty-five. never the full fifty without stopping and she hated that. he always smelled like alcohol and some other scent that she'd soon find out was the smell of pot. why did her dad do that?

he wasn't always that way, and miranda didn't know what changed the man. cause she could still remember those days wrapped in his arms when she felt safe. her and kailen playing horsey on him. the day at the pool when he taught them how to swim. or when he taught her how to ride a bike and helped her with her homework. all those happy memories had been pushed to the back of her mind cause now he wasn't like that. little did she know that her own father had been molested as a young kid and well it was out of 'love' so that's how he learned to show love. through sex. with ashlin's mother it was consensual but had never really cared for kailen but as much as he had miranda. so miranda had been the object of his desires and he had come to her. she was eight, just turned so. her mother and sister were gone. miranda can't remember what they were doing but she remembered her father. his smell, and the way he touched her. he said it was a secret and that he loved her. that's why he did it.

she believed him back then, cause she loved her father. at least back then. now she still loved him but there was that underlying fear and inability to get over it. she just wish he wouldn't do that again but she didn't need to think of that. so she did a handstand in the water, letting her body relax before coming back up and looking again at the boy as he began to float up. then he told her to stop staring. she hadn't meant to stare at him, she didn't even realize it was a bad thing. she was just worried. wasn't that what people were supposed to be? that's what she thought but who really knew. not miranda but she quickly moved her eyes away because she didn't want to upset this boy. she didn't like upsetting people, cause confrontations were hard for the shy ginger. "so..sorry," she managed to say in english,she was just happy that brón didn't come out of her mouth, cause then he'd probably thinks he was a freak. cause people spoke english, not irish and she had to fit in. it was scary being different she didn't like it. so she acted normal and it was easy on her part.

she didn't know what to do, she didn't want to leave, "aon" she said shaking her head. she couldn't manage any english but she slowly took in a breath. "i..don't..want..to," she said pausing after each word to make sure she was getting them right. she wasn't sure but if this guy looked at her strange then she'd know they were wrong "Ba mhaith liom a bheith anseo," she said in her odd mix of accents. it was irish with a slight southern twang to it. that's what she got from living in louisiana her whole life but her parents both had the irish accent so she picked up a mix of both during her lifetime.

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maybe we all want the same,

[/size]
( SHY GIRL SHY SHY SHY GIRL)[/center]

words: seven hundred and sixty one
outfit: here
tags: biscuit with caine
notes: aww! he so smexy
music: shy girl by silent circle
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0 don't steal or she'll hurt you c:

[/font][/left]

[caine]

. WHEN YOU'RE NOT SURE YOU'LL SURVIVE .
YOU GOTTA SWIM . AND SWIM WHEN IT HURTS
...THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING .

All Caine ever wanted was to be left alone. Hell he could remember when he was five years old cooking his own dinner when his father wanted to “take him for a walk.” All Caine wanted was to be left alone even at the age of five, but instead his dad insisted on taking him for a walk so he could go get some drugs, but of course he got busted and of course he got sent to foster care because his mum was just as bad. In foster care all he wanted was to be left alone. The first house was horrible because he would always get picked on and beaten by the older kids. The houses after varied depending on how he adapted to surviving, but mostly he just wanted to be left alone. Even at school he would always be alone, sit in a corner and scare the people away that tried to make friends with him because Caine knew before he could talk that he could only rely on himself.

So of course when he came to Hawthorne all he wanted was to be left alone. Couldn’t he just be left to his own devices, he did plenty fine on the streets for three years. Hell he probably would still be on the streets if it wasn’t for that dumb shit Connor that had to get himself murdered. Connor was the brains because Caine saw it easier to let Connor do the thinking and just beat the crap out of whoever was in the way. Nobody expects Caine to be smart, so why let them know he is. Of course he is smart in the bookish terms because a smart person would realize being alone forever doesn’t work, a smart person would realize that beating the shit out of people solves nothing, and a smart person would realize that he needed help.

Caine tried to stay to his room as much as possible, but seriously it got boring after a while. This led him to basically doing the only things he thought he was really good at, working out. He’d stop off at the gym, then take a run, and maybe swim. If he wasn’t working out he was in therapy. All the things he did though there were always people and he always had to watch his back, why couldn’t he just be sent away to some remote island by himself to work out his problems? Caine was on the verge of trying to get himself thrown in isolation, but that would just be dumb when he could just keep to his room where there would be at least a bit more entertainment.

The whole point of scaring off those girls earlier was to be alone. He didn’t like practicing his odd habit of almost drowning when other people were there. Underwater he felt defenseless and calm, he couldn’t have people interfering with that and when they did he really didn’t like it. The ginger chick that decided it was a great idea to swim at the same time he did managed to stutter out an apology in some accent that reminded him of his mothers and it just made him hate her even more.

Usually giving people his death glare and being an ass scared them away but instead she stood there and said she didn’t want to in that accent… that accent that pissed him off. Then what she said next didn’t quite register to Caine as any language in particular. What was she doing? Making fun of him in some other language? Caine could already feel his blood starting to boil. I think you do want to Caine snarled at her, then added And I don’t even know what the fuck you just said. So just leave. Right about now was usually when Caine would start moving in, trying to scare people away with sheer physical intimidation, however this was a girl, one younger than him even. He knew better than to hit a girl, but he also knew if he reached the point of a black out it wouldn’t matter. So he kept his distance, but he just wanted her to leave.

WORDS 701
TAGGED ashlin
WEARING black swim trunks
NOTABLE oh my god caine without a shirt, oh my god.

[miranda]

he say's i've been watching you,

[/size]
( SHY GIRL SHY SHY SHY GIRL)
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credit to lillianporter of caution2.0[/color]
[/center]

miranda had never understood how people could be so cruel, living in such a small town, well it caused one to be oddly naive. everyone there, they were so nice and well even when her disorder became known, no one really said anything to her. they acted like she was miranda, even if she felt like a complete freak, she knew they didn't. but still she was too scared and she needed to get away, to somewhere that no one knew she had some horrible problem. here was the right place. if anyone asked, which no one had yet, she was going to tell them she had nightterrors. cause lots of people had that..right? lots of people. not just her. so she would just feel like a freak and not be seen as one too.

she really didn't want to go, and though she was scared out of her head. she wasn't going to let this boy make her leave. okay well she was sure if he got even angrier, or closer to her, then she might run the hell out of there. but at the moment he was a safe distance away, he couldn't touch her from there. now she wasn't afraid to be hit, she could handle that. she could always handle that. it was something different the scared the girl. something she believed all boys wanted and weren't afraid to take. even from someone they didn't know. it was what she got for having a father like hers. so she stared at the pool, since he seemed to not like when she looked at him. so her eyes stayed glue to the bottoms as he said he didn't understand what she even said. of course he didn't, she said it in the wrong language..of course she would do that. at a time like this, she'd fuck up and say something wrong. she was a freak and now this boy knew it. he kept saying she wanted to leave.

she didn't want to leave and she just shook her head, "i..don't." how she was managing to stand up for herself was strange. she was good at not listening to others, it was saying things right that screwed her up. "i said..i said," she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "i want to be here," she managed without her voice breaking any, and finally she opened her eyes and let them move back to him. she stared into his eyes and took in slow deep breaths, trying not to be scared of this boy. it was going to be okay, but to make sure she took a step backwards. "i want to..to um..to swim," she said softly, as she backed herself into the stairs, and just sat down. she was afraid that if she stayed standing she'd bolt, but she wanted to do something for her for once. not get scared and leave. she was going to do this. and no one was going to stop her. not even this scary boy in front of her.

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maybe we all want the same,

[/size]
( SHY GIRL SHY SHY SHY GIRL)[/center]

words: five hundred and twenty nine
outfit: here
tags: biscuit with caine
notes: aww! he so smexy
music: shy girl by silent circle
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0 don't steal or she'll hurt you c:

[/font][/left]

[caine]

. WHEN YOU'RE NOT SURE YOU'LL SURVIVE .
YOU GOTTA SWIM . AND SWIM WHEN IT HURTS
...THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING .

This school wasn’t going to make Caine better; it was going to make him worse. There were too many people here, too many unpredictable that Caine couldn’t factor in. Hawthorne Academy wasn’t like the shitty inner-city school that he went to where everybody knew not to fuck with him and to stay away from Caine. It wasn’t like Juvy either, because at Juvy there weren’t many head games between young boys. All that Caine needed to do was bloody up a few of the other kids locked in there and nobody would mess with him. The one time Caine ever tried to befriend someone was when he was on the streets and that was more like a business partnership and it got him landed in the Maple’s house, which got him sent here. Basically “friends” or even allies weren’t good, Caine knew he was best left alone.

The girl on the other side of the pool was just pissing Caine off. She kept stuttering and she had that Irish twist to her words… just like Caine’s stupid whore, drug addict mum had. The same Irish twist that got Caine beaten the crap out of in his first foster home because he adopted some of the way his mum spoke. Just having to listen to the girl talk reminded Caine of the years that most kids could barely remember, but Caine remembered being four years old and having to climb the kitchen counter to reach a box of crackers because he hadn’t eaten in two days then falling and cutting his arm open on the edge of the counter, it definitely needed stitches but his Dad was passed out on the couch and his mum was “with a client” in her room, when he tried waking his dad he got a lit blunt thrown at him then yelled at for wasting a good blunt.

Wait… no… don’t think about that Caine. He wasn’t going to think about that because it made his blood boil even more and his hands start to shake. Gripping his hands in fists he glared at the girl, a look that probably would’ve killed a grizzly bear. She wasn’t going to leave and she kept stuttering and talking in that way that reminded him of his mum. Fuck Caine snarled slamming his fist in the water, making a large splash. Fine, fucking fine! But you stay down there and don’t come the fuck near me! Caine spat at her, his voice raised but not to the point of a shout.

Trying to calm himself down Caine swam a bit further away before sinking down to the bottom of the pool. Usually when he was underwater he could forget everything that was above the surface and just relax. The problem was that this girl wasn’t above the surface, he could still see her legs in the water, which only reminded him that she was there and she reminded him so much of his mum. If there was one thing that could set Caine over the edge was talking about his parents. This girl wasn’t talking about them but she might as well have been because her red curls were like his mums and the way she talked was so similar.

Pushing himself to the surface Caine yelled Fucking hell! before turning around and glaring at the girl. Not even bothering to swim he trudged through the water so he was only a foot from the girl. Why the fuck don’t you just leave already?! Caine yelled at her, punching the water between them. Yeah he had just said that she could stay, but he changed his mind and he was kind of starting to lose it.

WORDS 618
TAGGED ashlin
WEARING black swim trunks
NOTABLE oh my god caine without a shirt, oh my god.

[miranda]

he say's i've been watching you,

[/size]
( SHY GIRL SHY SHY SHY GIRL)
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credit to lillianporter of caution2.0[/color]
[/center]

miranda didn't know what to do, this boy was scaring her and she just wanted to hide. though she couldn't run, she wouldn't leave because she honestly didn't want to. she might of been shy and easily scared, but she was kind of hard-headed sometimes. this was one of the things. it was the last nice thing she did with her father, before he became that thing he is now. not her father but someone else. like a demon. maybe this boy had a demon inside him. maybe that's why he was so mean, cursing at her. she closed her eyes and nodded, staying where she was, she didn't want to go near him anyway. he scared her to death.

now you'd think a shy girl would love to be left alone like caine, but no she liked people. usually. so she'd try, try and find out what was angering this boy and maybe fix it. it was probably cause she was some how different. she didn't like being different. if she knew it was her accent or her hair, well she'd try not to speak. but she didn't know, she had no clue that it was really the most unique thing about her, that was pissing this boy off. now miranda hated her accent because of how unique it was. she was afraid that people wouldn't like it, or judge her for it. and well her greatest fear was happening as she was at this pool with this boy she didn't even know.

then he started to come closer and she inched away slightly, now her heart began to race and her hands were shaking. he had told her to stay away, so why was he coming near her? did he want to do what her father did to her. oh she hoped not, she hoped he didn't want that. she'd let him do anything, just not that. that hurt. it didn't feel good to the girl, not at all. she kind of held her breath and cringed when he punched the water. "you..you said," she bit down on her lip and just shook her head. "you said...i could...yo..you said...i.." her voice kept breaking. oh god what did she do to upset him? "why...are you...angry?" she just took another step back, her foot hitting the stairs, "ow..ow." god that hurt, so she sat down, keeping her eyes away from the scary boy and looked down at her foot. it was bleeding and she just shook her head, "what..did i do?"

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maybe we all want the same,

[/size]
( SHY GIRL SHY SHY SHY GIRL)[/center]

words: four hundred and forty seven
outfit: here
tags: biscuit with caine
notes: aww! he so smexy
music: shy girl by silent circle
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0 don't steal or she'll hurt you c:

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