Love and other drugs. [Cc]

[rayne sage underwood]

Rayne was horrified. How could James say that? How could he tell people that all guys wanted was sex, and that they didn't care. Was that all he wanted? Sex? He had kissed Rayne, told him he cared, said he shouldn't hurt himself. He convinced Rayne he cared. Making Rayne care in return. But he only wants to use you, that's all he wanted Wasn't it? Wasn't that what he was going for? Convince Rayne you care, get Rayne to like you, kiss Rayne, make Rayne kiss you. Was he nothing to James?
The tears had already came. He was past sobbing. He couldn't handle this...feeling of caring, of being sad, heartbroken. He had forgotten it years ago, when he was taken from Skye. When his foster brother started raping him. He shut everything out..he never made friends. He was numb, and the only thing he could feel was the cold razor cutting into his skin. The burning sensation the vomit left in his throat. That was his escape, those things were all he had. Now he was here..in this place surrounded by people who said they cared. Could he trust them? Were they just trying to use him?

Cc cares...doesn't he? He doesn't want to use me..he even said so... But the doubt wouldn't leave Rayne...he just wanted to leave..not come back. Be numb to this again. He didn't want to care, to worry. He wanted to be alone. Didn't he? Away from all the hurt, away from the idea of being hurt by ones he loved. He stared at his phone screen, his eyes blurring over constantly. He wiped away at them, smudging his eyeliner. Why did he bother living? It was too hard for him to handle. He just wanted to have his moment of bliss. That moment when he let go.
That's when he saw it...those three words. At first he didn't know what to say, so he asked him what he meant. Those three words popped up again, and Rayne didnt know how to react. How could anyone love this? I'm skin and bone, I'm ugly, I'm gross, I have scars everywhere... When CC listed off things that he loved about Rayne, a small smile crossed the boys lips. He really loved him? Did he feel the same? What did love feel like. Rayne bit his lip and left his room. He needed to see that boy before he thought of hurting himself again. He needed to be held, and to hold. He needed CC.

His heart was racing as he ran. All he could think about was getting to C, talking to him being with him. He sighed in relief when he reached dorm 104. He had never been to CC's dorm, nor had he thought about going here. He wondered what it was like...sharing a room with two other strangers. He had slept in James' room, but he knew CC and James. The idea of being put with someone you didn't know...what if they were crazy? Wanting to kill you, rape you, hurt you? A shudder ran down his spine at the thought.

He looked at the door nervously knocking on it before opening it and walking in. His eyes met CC's instantly, a small smile spread across his face. Tears spilled out. He wasn't sure why. Was he just happy? Relieved, sad? He held back a sob. "I..I didn't know what to do..I don't know..I'm..I.." He babbled before rushing over to the other and stepping on his toes. He kissed the boy as passionately as he could. slinking his arms around his neck to stay in place. He didn't know how long he kissed the boy, or how long they stood there. When he parted the kiss he blushed deeply. "I..I love you too C- " But he never finished his sentence. His ears began to hum and his vision went black for a moment. It was much worse than his other dizzy spells. His grip on the others neck slackened and he gasped a little as his knees buckled. His heart was racing and he couldn't hold his balance. His vision going from blotchy to clear. "Oh...well this..isn't good." He whispered quietly trying to stand, but failing each time.

He hadn't been eating like James wanted, he had only eaten a little, but found a way to get rid of it. He was taking pills now. Of course no one knew, but now he was taking pills since James wouldn't allow him to puke, since he didn't let him cut. He was addicted to this. He couldn't help it, even if he wanted to.


word: 830
outfit: i shall make later
tags: gabby with cc
notes: i'm kinda speechless. teehee

[christian drew carver]

christian drew carver usually was with his friends constantly. but today? he went out on his own and met a really nice girl, and a cute dog. the park was nice, and it was too tempting not to go. but when he got back to the school, he wasn't sure what to do. he didn't want to bother rayne and james cause they could of been talking a nap. he was too excited to even think of logging onto chat. so he walked around for the rest of the day, thinking of rayne and james. when he finally logged in he was in the middle of drama. he kept trying to tell them to calm down, but his friends kept ignoring him, and he felt hurt. so hurt. but not hurt enough to cry, he was just upset. his friends were arguing. rayne and james were having an argument and he couldn't do anything to stop it. talking about caring and guys only wanting sex. how could this be? christian didn't want sex? he didn't want that until he was married. he knew not everyone wanted that, but he did. his grandparent's taught him that, and he wanted to yell that at the top of his lungs. but no one was around him, he was in his own room and it seemed pointless to type it out on chat. no one was listening to him anyway. which was why he was staring at his computer screen with wide eyes. then slowly it started to calm down, and rayne asked where he was. so he told him and rayne was going to be on his way.

which meant clean up time for christian, so he stood up from his bed, pushed his computer to the side. shoving boxes under the bed and in the closet, he began to think of his friends. why were they arguing and fighting and causing each other pain? he didn't like seeing his friends upset and hurt. that was why he tried his hardest to be the peace maker. usually just being the same happy, crazy boy he always was, well that made most people happy. like aaron, he always seemed happy around christian. even carson was happier around him, it was evident the way they joked and hung out. why now? why were rayne and james, who were so close, why did they have to fight like this? why couldn't they just talk about it? he felt horrible for not being able to stop it, and he just really wanted them to happy again. happy like before. when they'd have fun cuddle movie parties. those were good times, and he missed them. he didn't like this.this fighting, at all.

he heard a knock, just as he was shoving the last box under the bed, and when he looked up, his eyes met rayne's. a smile spread across christian's face, he was happy to see him, he liked rayne a lot and he couldn't help it. he even told him that he loved him on chat. but rayne only asked to come over, and he couldn't help feel like rayne didn't feel the same way. then he saw the tears, and he felt a pang in his heat. he didn't want to see rayne cry, it hurt too much. he wanted to close his eyes and wish away rayne's tears. "rayne. it's okay. you don't need to be sorry," he said, then he saw rayne running towards him. he wrapped his arms around the small boy and kissed him back as passionately as he could muster. when he pulled away from the boy, a big smile was spread across his face.

then the boy told him he loved him, and christian's eyes shown with nothing but happiness. then the boy began to faint, and he frowned. "rayne," he said softly, feeling his heart pound. "are you okay?" why he asked this, well christian didn't know. it was obvious he wasn't okay, he kept falling. frowning, christian picked the small boy up and carried him to his bed, laying him down and and sitting next to him. "rayne. what's wrong? i thought you've been eating?" he knew james was making him eat, and he was there some of the times they were eating. rayne seemed like he was getting better, but this. it shouldn't of happened? why was it happening? "we..we need to get you to..to the infirmary," he said finally. they'd know what to do, they could help rayne better than he could. christian didn't have the ability to stay concentrated long enough to help rayne. but rayne needed help and he needed it fast.

words: eight hundred and nine
outfit: sexiness
tags: marcie with rayne
notes: haha cc is too sweet