i've never felt so alive /*

[victoria hope jean]

there were some things that hope just couldn't stand. druggies, alcohol, being called names, and the word 'whatever.' now, she could say the word all she wanted, but she couldn't stand when someone told her that. that basically meant that the conversation was over, and that just didn't fly with her. a lot of people knew that, especially her brother. when they lived back in houston, he would always say, 'whatever' to her just to piss her off. it always ended up in the two wrestling, but she didn't mind it. it was good memories, and the fact that could possibly be happening now made her laugh. she hasn't been able to have a nice memory with her brother in months, that's all she asked for.

the young latina walked swiftly through the halls, entering the boys hall. her eyes scanned over door and door, looking for her brothers. the two had gotten into an argument over the school chat room, telling him that she was going to kick his ass. now, most people might think that she was being serious, but it wasn't true. hope's version of an ass kicking for her brother, was basically trying to tackle him to the floor. she couldn't really hurt her brother. that would just kill her inside if she did that. she loved her brother way to much to actually hurt him, no matter how many times he hurts her feelings. she was just too soft for that. she may act like she is a tough girl, but she's really not.

two hundred and six... two hundred and seven... two hundred and eight... she stopped immediately, remembering that this was the room number that he gave her. what if he tricked her? oh, she would be pissed off. she faced the door and automatically started knocking on it. she didn't even let up on the knocking and she knew that she probably wouldn't until he opened the door, just to annoy him. it's what she used to do at home, so why not here? "Connor Davis Jean!" She yelled out, not caring if boys came out and stared at her like she was crazy, "Open this fucking door so I can kick your ass!" She was excited to see her brother, she hasn't seen his face since the day she left Houston.

word count: four hundred and twelve.
tag: connor!
outfit: click!
notes: here ya go! ;D

[connor davis jean]

if you got bad news you want to kick them,

[/size]
( COCAINE SHE DON'T LIE)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

credit to nana of caution 2.0[/color]
[/center]

connor had signed on chat out of boredom, and evenmaye hoping his little sister would be on. it seemed like the only time he didn't think about the truth. and yeah the moment he got on, he made sure to say something about her being a liar. it was easier that way for him, but then they started bickering and it escalated until he slipped and said whatever. not even thinking about how he used to do it all the time at home. but when it started well he couldn't help but want to mess with hope like old times, cause deep down he missed that.

not that he was going to admit missing anything that had to do with hope. no, she was a liar, and he had to remind himself that all the time. or he'll slip, like now, he was slipping. he wanted to connect again with hope, but connecting with hope required him to believe her. and he just couldn't, there was no way in hell that alex would do that.. so instead connor just drugged himself up, worse than before. he was constantly high, just so he wouldn't think about hope and alex. cause when he was sober? it was easier to realize, maybe hope didn't lie, and he couldn't think of that. life was easier when his sister was a liar, it just worked for him.

the sound of banging snapped him out of his thoughts and a slight smile spread on his lips. he stayed on his bed, shutting his computer and pushing it to the side. more and more this day seemed to become like old times and it was easy to forget about alex and all of the lies and things. he waited until she started screaming to stand up and go to the door. running a hand through his hair, he stood by the door, waiting until she was banging to open it, but staying behind it as cover.

"hello there hope. come to kick my ass?" he gave a smug smile, even though he knew fully well he planned on losing this fight, because no matter what. he just wouldn't be able to harm his little sister, no matter what she might of did or not do. "i still don't think you could," he said, kicking the door closed behind hope, bracing himself for what was to come next.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
when your day is done and you got to run,

[/size]
( COCAINE SHE DON'T LIE )[/center]

words: four hundred and nine
outfit: here
tags: krista with hope
notes: slightly sucky cause its bad muse time
music: cociane by j.j. cale

[/font][/left]

[victoria hope jean]

standing there, looking at her brother in the face, was something she didn't think would come again. she always thought she would finish the rest of her high school career at hawthorne, with her brother still in houston, then she run off somewhere to forget everything that happened, start new. that didn't exactly work out. as her eyes looked up at her older brother, her heart started breaking all over again. the memories of the two of them constantly fighting, trying to break each other down.. it flashed right before her eyes. her face almost fell, but she kept her composure and smiled up at her brother.

hope was hoping that this would be their day to reconnect, just act like the close brother and sister that they used to be. she didn't even want to think about the past, about what happened, at the moment. she didn't have to bring it up and ruin what could be a good day. sure, it broke her down that her own brother wouldn't believe that she had been raped. he was in denial, she figured. maybe deep down he really did believe her, maybe one day that would surface and her life could go back to somewhat normal. she knew her life would never be the same, but hell, she could try.

her brown eyes twinkled and she nodded her head at him, "fuck yeah, i did," she said, walking right into his room. she looked around the room and her eyebrows rose. she knew that he shared with adrian, but fuck. she didn't know how many explosives adrian really did try to make. she turned back towards her brother, before pushing him at his chest, "i already beat your ass back home, don't think i couldn't do it again! i'm stronger than i was," she said, raising up her arms and flexing her non-existant muscles. she loved being able to see her brother in person now, he really hadn't changed at all. he still looked like the same brother she had back down in houston. she wish she could say that she was the same, but she wasn't. she had dangerously lost a lot of weight, so much so that her ribs were poking out. her eyes had lost all the life in them, along with many of her scars over her body. she was always self-concious about wearing certain clothes, like the shorts she was now. she didn't want people to see her body, it was gross. but she wore them anyways. she shook her head of the thoughts and pushed out her hands to push her brother again, needing to get him to the floor. she wanted to be able to say she kicked her brothers ass.

word count: four hundred and sixty four
tag: connor!
outfit: click!
notes: this is sucky, haha.

[

[connor davis jean]

if you got bad news you want to kick them,

[/size]
( COCAINE SHE DON'T LIE)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

credit to nana of caution 2.0[/color]
[/center]

looking at his little sister in person, he couldn't help think that her pain was partially his fault. he didn't believe her, he didn't support her, maybe everyone was right. he was a piece of shit to believe alex over his own flesh and blood. alexander james caviler was the one person connor had always trusted. the boy was his best friend, and the one to show him all the things he enjoyed now. he didn't want to throw away something he had begun to rely on, which was why when victoria told him about that night, he just pushed her away and chalked it down to she was lying. that she just wanted connor to stop using and stop having friends, so they could be like old times. finally he shook his head, he didn't want to think about that, not now, not when he was finally doing something he used to do all the time. pick on victoria and let her kick his ass.

one may ask why he would let his younger sister kick his ass, and well there was no good explanation. he just could never muster up enough disdain to harm her, and with hope being very fragile, connor wouldn't touch her, but instead let her do as she pleased until she got bored or satisfied and stopped. no one could really understand the bond between brother's and sister's. he could pick on her, hate her, call her a liar, a slut and any other word that he could think of. yet he still couldn't keep her from pushing him around. and though he didn't fully understand it either, he knew one thing. there was no way he could harm victoria hope jean, and so it was why he just smiled when she walked in all puffed up. "i can tell," he said in fake awe as she flexed her 'muscles' and he couldn't help but laugh. something he hadn't done in a long time, usually staying high and numb, so thoughts wouldn't try to overrun him.

when she pushed him, he let his eyes go wide and his mouth drop. "oh victoria. stop it hurts," he said sarcastically and with a small smile. he was happy to embrace this time with his sister, because he was a hundred percent positive that another one of these times may either never come, or it would be a long time. he understood all the pain he put his sister through, just to keep his world the same. but he didn't like change, and he didn't like his world disrupted by anything. and victoria, all the things she tried to tell him, would do just that. flip his world upside down and cause it to spin in a million different directions. sighing he let the thoughts go back to where they came from, before falling to the ground with a smirk. "oh please don't victoria. please," he said with the look of mock pain dancing on his face. "don't hurt me."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
when your day is done and you got to run,

[/size]
( COCAINE SHE DON'T LIE )[/center]

words: five hundred and twenty
outfit: here
tags: krista wtih hope
notes: god i love connor<3
music: cociane by j.j. cale

[/font][/left]

[victoria hope jean]

there hasn't been a day that has gone by when she hadn't wished for a day like this; for a day when connor and herself could get along and goof off. she always wished that it was like old times. she missed him; she missed being able to tell him everything that went on in her life, missed them playing piano or guitar together, missed them riding horses, cooking, wrestling. they had the perfect brother and sister relationship back in the day, then he had to go and ruin it by believing his idiot best friend.she still didn't understand how he could believe alex over his own sister... it was all just fucked up in her head, but she wasn't going to bring that up today. no, she was going to enjoy this, even if it killed her. then again, she kind of knew what he was thinking. he probably thought she wanted to get rid of his friends, so it was just the two of them.. that wasn't the case at all. she didn't care if he had friends, just as long as she had her brother. she just wanted to have him to go to, to talk to, to have fun with.

hope let out a laugh and shook her head. she wished she had muscle, because then she could hold up to her threats. but in order to do that, she would have to eat normally. she wasn't going to do that, so she would just have to deal. muscle wasn't that important.. right? oh, who was she trying to kid. it was important, she needed to be healthy, but she thought that she was gross. there wasn't anyone that could tell her differently.. not even alyx would be able to convince her of that. it was sad to think that way, but it was the truth. oh well, "jealous?" she asked, her eyes twinkling. she was having too much fun with this. she was allowed, though. she needed this time, this might even help her recovery... if he didn't turn back into a little bitch when all of this was over. god, she hoped not.. she needed him in her life.. not the bitchy him, either.

she couldn't help but giggle as he spoke. no matter what, he had a way of putting a smile on her face. he was so silly sometimes, she couldn't help it. when he fell to the ground, she grinned and sat on his stomach, resting her elbows on her knees, and her chin in her hands before looking over at him, "I win.. that wasn't a long fight.. did you let me win?" she asked him, raising her eyebrows in curiousity. she knew that he did, he always let her win. besides, they never actually fought, so it didn't really matter. it was just for fun, it shouldn't really matter. it was just what they did, it's how they were.

word count: four hundred and ninety seven.
tag: connor!
outfit: click!
notes: this is sucky, haha.

[connor davis jean]

if you got bad news you want to kick them,

[/size]
( COCAINE SHE DON'T LIE)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

credit to nana of caution 2.0[/color]
[/center]

connor davis jean never realized how much he missed his sister until she was with him and they were goofing. now he didn't want her to leave, but he had a feeling that this wasn't going to last long. because he knew his sister, and she'd try to get him to think bad about alex. he just couldn't see alex doing some of the things she said he did. she just wanted him all to herself like before, but he was a teenager and he had friends. she was going to have to stop her craziness before he could fully accept his sister back into his life.

he gave his sister another once over and noticed how skinny she was. he didn't want to see his sister like this, it tugged at something in him. something that realized that she was like this because of him, and that he had to change his ways too. he couldn't just have hope do the only changing in the relationship. because he was a jerk, and though it was easier to just be a big jerk, it didn't have as many benefits. so why did he keep doing it? because he never had the energy to pretend to be nice to people he didn't really care about. but this right now, it was effortless, it came natural and he just nodded at his sister, "yeah so jealous."

he placed his hand behind his head as his sister sat on his chest. he let out a fake gasp, "you need to be more careful baby sis." a smile began to play on his face as he shook his head, "no i'd never do that." he had always done that, letting hope when in any fight they might have gotten in. because the idea of hurting her, even on accident, well he didn't like the thought of it. so he never laid a hand on her and just usually fell to the floor in exasperated pain. "why would i let you win?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
when your day is done and you got to run,

[/size]
( COCAINE SHE DON'T LIE )[/center]

words: three hundred forty seven
outfit: here
tags: krista with hope
notes: this sucks :c
music: cociane by j.j. cale
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0 don't steal or she'll hurt you c:

[/font][/left]